whimsicalorchid

So far, it had been a tiring day – a trying day, for her mind and heart. The vacant sound of their empty room was nothing that helped her wounded heart. She could hear the echo of her ceiling fan and whatever music played softly in the background on her laptop. The sounds and voices that escaped it eased the pain in her. Still early it seems, the lingering presence of him was still in the air. Still in her pillows that she felt his lingering warmth though her body had to compensate for the need of warmth to his hands, and yet when warmed they became so searing to the touch. The lack of him near her was detrimental to being. All she had

The endless night have started again My mind racing, pacing, sounding again I know I haven't been possibly the best.. Whatever you wish to call me in relative to you But I assure, I don't wish to treat you like the rest There is a constant pain inside that overruns me It is almost like I'm always powerless and hungry My heart aching and soundless Like I'm caged, and not boundless, its Almost as if I'm falling in a trap And the act, has only strengthened my need to attack But, I certainly know that this is not the way So please I assure you I wish for you to stay Because, perhaps belatedly, I know that I'm doing it again Pushing

I'm breathless again Don't want to breath or my skin will bleed And you'll see the emotions that wish to be free I'll be silent Cause I desire the remedy of united skin Hard kisses and anchoring caress that Will bring about my sure fin It's only simple That my thoughts have wandered this far Yet again broken skin flutter at my heart Once again I need to figure out how to start.. You don't know the temptation The agonizing in holding back, this burning in groin and wishing these feelings were slown The anchor tied at my ankle I wish for you to hold me Breath sweetly to me And warp me with the mischief As I cry Roll against

It is time and time again that I succumb to the loneliness of my chest One day I wish to draw a picture to show the black that drips from my heart Yet I whisper to myself some comfort, in hopes I'll never start I shake in my bones and in my knees, for all I want is rest For when I do surrender to some form of sleep, the silence is the best My body twists and turns outward at the feel of the pain Never will a true subtle difference be considered a gain Terrible nights, I sit up looking at the imaginary stars in my room Attempting to remain oblivious to my impeding doom Time and time again my tears fall down my cheeks ever so hollow A

It was then that I knew your charming smile Was an innocent fabric of my imagination That there was no possible way you could be The business, gentlemanly aesthetic Would replace the norms and plain white tees That there would be the laid before me A young man around my own age Specifically made just for me I swoon to the figures of my dream, daring To want peace, and contentment, and love Yet scaring Because I know not what He thinks of me above Oh the gentle breeze of my heart fails me now Please, I do not wish for a crown Simple peace in my heart From there, I'll give anything. Just to start.

I hear the gentle noises in my head My heart twists in my chest for rapture I quake silently, in my eyes there is no light today The only truth is the famous phrases you wish to repeat Because the more there is the less there will be to handle later Only just one day would I love to not be at your mercy Just one day to kill the switch in everything I feel Where there doesn't have to be light to calm me Just a simple soundlessness there Where the hole in my chest doesn't quiver My eyes open to the world and not my world Not the grey and sadness that floods my vision day After day after day after day I'm ashamed of the certain comp

In the mist of my sleep, I had heard voices that wished to approach. A group of quiet murmur of echoes that faded in and out of coherence. The myriad of voice was maddening. Making me shake in the blackness that made up where my apparent dream had taken me. Until a harsh, androgynous voice hushed the other's a sharp, "Silence!" A quiet whisper that had jolted my eyes open to look about the vacant abyss. I call out sheepishly, "Hello?" The silence was definite. The voice that had now spoken had led me to gulp down a knot in my chest and let it fall in my stomach. Creating an unseen tidal wave that splashed against the walls of my stomach.

By rough hands, I was been groped by unseen hands and perversely gazed upon by eyes covered by glasses. Women and Men, picking and prodding, pulling me by the mouth as they inspected me none too gently since it was my own fault for struggling against their hold on me. Pushed down by an invisible force, I saw a black blur. Too busy trying to figure out what exactly was going on; I did not come to realize that there was a large needle inching towards my neck until it pierced my flesh. A sharp, pathetic sound ripped through my throat and the dark yellow ooze was injected. I fell, limp against the chest of some random fellow, gripping the mater

In my gaze was a putrid sightlessness. It was black and unrelenting. The darkness arching its evil wings over my face. The white doors and walls that locked me inside the blasted room would perhaps be the end of me. I was rocked and pulled and pushed by an invisible force as the black carriage brought me further and further into a place where I could not see. Such strange form of transportation despite we being in this modern age. It was a hideous illusion that we were going towards some kind of place for sight seeing. But ultimately, where we were going, I did not know. I could not figure out what position would be best to settle in but it